MTC....BYU Campus?

Did you know that technically the MTC is BYU Campus? Guess what that means.  Yep, its close.  REALLY close.  Guess what that means? Elder Anderson and I go to the same temple.  Sometimes it is really hard knowing he is RIGHT THERE and I can't even see him or talk to him!!!

Story time.

Did you know that on Pdays a missionary in the MTC can go to the temple? I did.  What I didn't know was that every Wednesday when I go to the temple grounds to study my scriptures and Temple Prep materials Nik and I had been missing each other by a few minutes.  Until yesterday.

I was walking up to the temple about to cross the street to the corner by the MTC.  Of course the thought of seeing Nik had passed my mind but I was almost positive that I would be just fine, I had come at this exact time 3 weeks in a row, I figured I was safe.  I wasn't.  The walk signal flashed on and I was about to walk across the street when Elder Anderson and his companion came around the corner.  10 ft away.  So close to my best friend and do you know what I did? I put my head down and stood there.  Now I had to wait for the other traffic signal to switch so I could get to the temple using a slightly different route.  That minute felt like an hour.  10 FEET AWAY.  I turned to look at him and he had his back towards me talking to his companion.  Agh so awkward.

So I took the long way to the temple knowing that Nik would be cutting through the field and would get there much sooner than I would.  WRONG.  We got there at the same time.  Nice going Kyrstin.  So I hid behind a bus stop pavilion.  FAIL. After he had walked through the gates of the temple grounds I figured it was safe to go to my little spot in the field below.

He was turned around looking at me from the fountain at the top of the Hill, I looked away and started sobbing.  Then I heard a bunch of sister missionaries say, "What is Elder Anderson doing?" I looked up and saw him and his companion walking back down the hill. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC.  They yelled my name and waved.  I waved back.  They stood there.  Was I supposed to go talk to them? Looking back now I really wish I had.  But I didn't know what the right thing to do was.  So.  I sat there.  And cried.  And they eventually turned around and headed back to the temple.  He turned around one more time and waved.  I love that boy.  23 more months.  Dang I hope I did the right thing.

Fun & Games..... & Tears.

My emotions have been all over the place.  Mostly the past week or so has been a happy one.

Jade graduated!! I am going to miss her!!! We had a great time at Texas Roadhouse.  I may have been overkill on the stories about Nikora and I but thats just what happens anytime we go somewhere that Nik and I used to visit lots. It was such a happy, kinda sad, but mostly pretty happy day.  Word for the wise: If you are waiting for a missionary DO NOT watch homecoming videos.  It does WIERD things to your emotional stability.  It definitely threw my day out of whack haha.

We play TENNIS!!........ Ok lets be real we all rejoice like we are Wimbledon champions if we manage to hit the ball back and forth more than 5 times.  It is a work in progress.

LOOOOVVVE my roomies.  Seriously they are the sweetest girls and know how to make a rough day so much better!

Julayne just likes beating me up....jk jk

This week has been full of fun times.  I've needed it.  It has been a month since Nikora left and while I am still among the living I'm sometimes surprised my heart doesn't just give out.  Ok maybe not for reals but its been hard!!! Definitely fits the description of "Emotional Roller Coaster" 

I went up to Daybreak to visit Nik's family.  I cried when I passed the temple where we did baptisms for the last time, I cried when I passed the lake where we would sit and talk till late at night, I cried when I passed the little town homes that he wants to live in someday, then I composed myself as I pulled up to his house.  But then I looked at his cute little house and heard his puppies barking inside and I just lost it all over again.  They opened the door and gave me hugs and the faucet of tears just kept running.  But don't worry it only ran for the first hour that I was there.  The rest of the time was really great, I was able to just talk about Nik and everything that happened without getting fake sympathy or that glazed over look when people are soooo done listening to me talk about my best friend.  We laughed harder than any of us have laughed in the last month and I felt more at peace than I had in a long time.  It was so good to be back. 

Staying at my house instead of my apartment for Memorial Day weekend was a huuuuuge blessing.  Being with my family and my cousins family gave me so much to take my mind off of school, Nik, work, Nik, Nik, and did I mention Nik? It was really nice to be somewhere that wasn't just filled with memories of Elder Anderson and I.  We played games, watched movies, went to 7 peaks, talked, ate delicious food, and had a fantastic time.  

(Notice I'm not in the pic, I was visiting Niks family but the whole weekend went about like this)

I came home from Memorial Day weekend feeling emotionally stable (something that hasn't happened in a month haha) and really happy.  

I even got pics and videos from the Elder!!!

He sent me his memory card and he still had pictures from our last salt lake trip on it :)

Good to see he likes his birthday present (I made him a quote book and didn't get it to him until 3 months after his birthday.... bad girlfriend award haha)

Nik is DL over a bunch of really great guys!!

I really am so proud of him for deciding to serve a mission.  I cannot even wait till I can be out there serving too! It sounds difficult.  Probably more difficult than anything I have ever done.  BUT it sounds so incredibly worth it.  

Well its been fun and games for the past week with a few tears in-between.  I'm not sure that my emotional stability is still in tact.  It may have been thrown off with yesterdays events. But I will write a separate blogpost about that story. Yay for Provo.  

Weekends Are Wonderful

This weekend has been truly wonderful.  Filled with friends, family, painting, homework, parties, Anne of Green Gables, sleepovers, girls nights, and Ice cream sculpting.

It has been fun to be busy and just goof off again :)

I got my first set of pics from my bestie! Looks like he is having a fun time on his mission and he is liking the fake mustaches I sent for him and his companion! Things have been hard without him but it gets better every day! 

Over the past few weeks I am so grateful that I have come to learn more about the importance of Heavenly Father in our lives.  I have definitely been leaning on Him a lot in the past few weeks but he has blessed me so very much every time I pray to him for help and guidance!

Blessings.

Well.  I am doing much better than the last time I posted.  Thank goodness for that! This week as I have been fighting the urge to mope and be depressed I've found that happiness is a decision and often times it takes work.

There were so many times that I just wanted to listen to a depressing song and cry (and I did that.... several times) BUT.  That didn't make me feel better.  You know what did? Prayer, scriptures, faith, goals, getting stuff done.

A favorite professor of mine always says that "The city of happiness is found in the state of mind" Its so true.  This week I really tried to make the conscious decision to think happy thoughts and pray for help to just enjoy my life instead of wallowing in sadness because I miss my best friend.

Sometimes I let my sadness get the best of me but for the most part I was able to have a really great week all because I decided to fill the emptiness I found from missing my boyfriend with good things and happy thoughts.

This morning my roommates and I were planning on going to the temple at 6 am.  Let me repeat that 6 AM?!?!? For a college student that considers going to bed at midnight as really "early" 6 am is a big deal.  So when I woke up this morning and only 1 roommate still wanted to go I was extremely tempted to just to go to sleep like everyone else.  BUT. Then I got a little reminder from the spirit that blessings always come from going to the temple.  There are people waiting for my help and no extra amount of sleep could ever be worth it.

I AM SO GLAD THAT I GOT UP.  I can't even describe what a peaceful feeling there was at the temple.  It felt like returning home.  For the first time all week I felt completely 100 percent content with my life.

Then I got home climbed in bed and woke up to my roommate holding..... A LETTER!!!!!!!!!!! I got and I wasn't even expecting one today!! Then my other roommate got back from working at the MTC bookstore and said that Nik had come in to tell her that his pday would be tomorrow and he loved me and couldn't wait to send me another letter.  AAAAAAh I flipped out.  I got a letter today and I get another one tomorrow!?!

If thats not a fantastic example of the blessings that come from going to the temple I don't know what is.    Today has been a wonderful day, I am so grateful for the tender mercies God sends us when we just show the tiniest inkling of faith!

My Best Friend

Exhale. Cry. Big Breath. Exhale. That has been my routine today.  Can you believe it? It is May 1st.  A year ago we met and became friends.  Now, my best friend is gone.  Nikora is a missionary.  I have never felt so distant from him which is funny because he is either across the street from me at my old housing complex Wyview, or he is less than a mile away from me at the Provo MTC.  More than anything I just want to know what his P-day is so I know when I can expect a reply to my letters!!

This has been a CRAAAAAZZZZY week.  Probably the most exhausting, stressful, and emotional week of my life so far.  Last wednesday I was packing up my entire apartment, finishing finals, and opening my mission call.  Throughout the week I moved into my house in Lindon, moved out again, moved to Glenwood, applied for my passport, went to South Jordan at least 6 times, started school again, and spent as much time as possible with my best friend until I finally had to say goodbye.  Today he went into the MTC and I am left with a mixture of a million feelings.  Sadness, anticipation, excitement, depression, happiness, longing, etc.  I just want to talk to him.  I don't need to see him.  I just want to talk to him.  He makes me feel better when I am sad.  I was so sad yesterday that I used up 2 and a half jumbo rolls of toilet paper. That is A LOT of snot and tears people! I kinda wish he was here to make it all better. Big breath.  Its going to be ok.  It will take some adjusting but it WILL get better.

Anywho. This next part is just a TON of collages I made with some of the pictures I have of us.  Beware.  There are LOTS of pictures and lots of reminiscing haha. Mostly I made these just for me, but if you want to look go ahead!

Once upon a time Nik likes taking pics when he thinks I won't notice... but I always do haha

I am going to miss his sense of humor.  I can always count on him to make me smile :)

I'm also gonna miss just being plain old silly with him. We are such dorks but it was so fun!

Another thing I loved was just going places with him.  I missed that a lot today.  I wanted to walk around the corner and find him sitting in his car waiting to whisk me off to our next adventure.  The hardest part of today was realizing that our next adventure isn't something that we can do together.

Sometimes we had even more fun just chilling at his house or my apartment.  We probably spent the majority of our time sitting on the couch watching movies and talking :)

I'm also gonna miss having such a fun packed day that I'd fall asleep in the middle of a movie or a conversation...

I'm gonna miss this kid! We had such a fun last week!!

For our last date we went to The Roof for the last time, we even wore the same outfits that we did the first time!!

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I've ever done.  I have never cried so hard in my life!

More than anything I am going to miss his entire family.  Seriously they pretty much adopted me for the past few weeks and I loved every minute of it! Nikora you will make a great missionary.  I love you and I miss you, thank you for a wonderful year