Emotions.

Today has been emotional.  I could end the blog post right there.

BUT... if you want to keep reading about the details feel free... just know that it might not make any sense... and there is probably far more written about Nikora and my feelings than you'd ever want to know.

Sooooo I got to talk to Nikora today.  BEST DAY EVER.   So then why have I been crying on and off all day? Answer: Because I'm a girl. An emotional girl.

My day started at 5 am.  Full of worries, confusion, apprehension, excitement. I missed my test yesterday and wasn't sure how I was going to fix it with my professor today, hence the worry.  Then I let my mind wander through all of the possible things that could go wrong and stop me from talking to my best friend (i.e. what if talking to him is just too sad? what if its too happy?what if he doesn't want to talk to me? what if he doesn't remember me? what if I get hit by a car on my way over there and can't make it because I'm in the hospital? what if an elephant steps on my car while I'm driving and I get stranded on the freeway?) Obviously some of my worries were more reasonable than others.... and none of them actually happened

Needless to say, I did not get stepped on by an elephant.

I made it to Nik's house and the wait began.  It felt like a year before the call came from Elder Anderson. As soon as I heard his voice the tears began flowing again.  I have the amazing ability to feel many emotions at once, sadly I do not have the ability to keep ANY of them in.  I was happy, relieved, excited, sentimental... but most of all it was just good to hear his voice.  Its funny how well you can know a person but how poorly your mind can imagine them.  I don't know if that makes any sense but often times I try to think of where Nik is and what he is doing and I can half create it. But I can never fully imagine what it feels like to be with him or talk to him.  That is only a feeling I can get from actually interacting with him.  It was so good to remember what it feels like to have a best friend. I can't even tell you how good it felt.

Nik got to call twice, in-between calls I took a nap and cried in Nik's basement.  Sooo many memories down there.  Whether it was talking for hours, watching movies, working on homework projects, etc we were almost always spending time down there.  I fell asleep crying but I woke up to these cute puppies scratching at the door.  Sam and Frodo, they always know how to make someone feel better!

I'll spare you the details of the next long call, all I have to say this that it was WONDERFUL.

Aaaaaaaand saying goodbye was really hard....

I went on a walk by the lake afterwards and just reflected on everything I was feeling.  I felt a little numb during the drive home.  When I got back to provo waterworks began again and I've cried harder than I have in 41 days.  Only 22 months left.  I can do anything for 22 months.