2. Weeks.

I am freaking out.

2 WEEKS.  FREAK OUT.

In two weeks I will be on the plane heading to Chile for the next 18 months of my life.  FREAK OUT.

I've never been away from home longer than 3 weeks. FREAK OUT.

Me no speako español! FREAK OUT.

Its really weird going places and thinking "This is the last time I will be here in over 18 months" For example, "Grammy's" house has always been one of my favorite places in the world.  If I haven't been there in the past month or two its been far too long.  I need my monthly dose of family and chocolate chip cookies. The 24th of July was my last time there for a year and a half! STILL FREAKING OUT.

Its fine, sometimes I just sit in my room and cry.  And then I write my missionary a letter to make me feel better.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so so so very excited.  I guess it is just finally starting to hit me that this is for real! I'm actually doing this! And soon! Two weeks from yesterday I will be set apart as a missionary.  Two weeks from today I will board the plane to Chile.  Two weeks from tomorrow I will be in the Chile MTC eating different food, trying to understand a different language, in a different part of the world.  ...... YEP I'M FREAKING OUT

Last night as I got in bed and looked at the half-packed suitcases all over my room I sat there and cried.  I hopped on my computer to start typing an email when I saw "The Fourth Missionary" which was saved to my desktop.

I stayed up for another hour or so and read it.  So good.  For anyone planning on serving a mission you NEED TO READ THIS.

I took a good look at my attitude about a mission and found that for the most part I was headed into the mission with the right attitude, but there are a few things I need to do or change to be the best missionary I possibly can.  I want to be the right kind of missionary, with her head and heart in the right place.  Sometimes I don't adjust to change very well.  I can get really sentimental and I often think back on how life used to be and miss it.  This has been the case for most of my life, especially since Nikora left.  But now, its time to put my old life in a box to be opened only after I get home.  I'm not gonna miss life the way it was or the way it is right now before I leave, because its never coming back.  I'm just going to be happy with life the way it is.  I'm going to do my best to be happy with every part of my life as a missionary.  I'm going to do my best to look forward instead of backwards realizing that my mission is where I'm supposed to be.  So for now, there's no where else in the world I'd rather be than Santiago Chile.  I'm freaking out, but I'm ready.